


So Now You’re Dead

by hvss



Series: Hoax [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Age Difference, Boss/Employee Relationship, Eddie is slightly obsessive, Infidelity, M/M, Manipulation, Mentions of past abuse, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:28:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hvss/pseuds/hvss
Summary: Richie is Eddie’s married boss, but that doesn’t stop Eddie.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Hoax [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053596
Comments: 41
Kudos: 188





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> well now i have so much time. this idea just feeds into my obsession with boss/employee affairs. also was listening to a little death by the neighbourhood so this happened. sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes. enjoy!

Richie was happily married. At least that’s what Eddie kept repeating to himself. It was a daily thing. Even if it was a lie, even if he knew all the marriage problems Richie was having with his husband. But he figures that was one boundary he would not cross. He constantly kept reminding himself that, just to repress the impulsive urges he randomly felt, why he couldn’t take his chance and just kiss him... and do perhaps more. Definitely do more.  
  
His work scheduled had changed. Richie had asked him to stay late as the job needed. Eddie doesn’t think he could say no to him. But now they spend a lot of time alone and unfortunately Eddie had very little self-control.  
  
Eddie had started as an intern at a local behavioral health facility and quickly got hired full time. He remembered being nervous when he started here. He always wanted to be a licensed behavioral counselor, ever since he realized how abusive his mother was. He figured he could help other people like him. Thus, going to university and going down this path. He chose a smaller site to do his interning, this site only had two counselors, but it had great reviews.  
  
He met Mr. Richard Tozier who was one of the two counselors and also the president of the facility. They got along so well, that was the thing. It surprised Eddie, Richie was a decade and some years older and also his boss. But Richie was funny and made jokes, so many jokes and Eddie gave him so much snark and Richie enjoyed it so much. At least that’s what he told Eddie, that he was his favorite hire, that he was so excited to watch Eddie grow into a great counselor, that Eddie was the perfect employee.  
  
Richie was also a great counselor. Eddie would admire how he was so sympathetic with the patients. Richie genuinely cared about them. He would go above and beyond to help them. Eddie had never met such a passionate counselor.  
  
He can’t pinpoint where their relationship went from boss-employee to somewhere down the line of friends. But suddenly they lost a lot of time just talking about their life. And that escalated to going out to eat in places. And it kept escalating to more serious conversations and some that had Eddie up at night wondering what it all meant.  
  
Eddie recalls a September day when his boss invited him out to eat. It was very much just a normal work lunch. He stared as Richie talked animatedly about his new ideas for the program. His dark frame glasses adorning his bright eyes, his stubble was barely coming Eddie recalls Richie had shaved days prior, and his lips moving fast and looking plump even. He stops himself suddenly because... his weird crush on his boss was becoming too much.  
  
Eddie had come to terms that he did indeed have a crush on his boss, but he figured it was innocent enough. With spending so much time together and the fact that Richie was extremely attractive, well it seemed normal. That September day however, he realized it was more obsessive than normal.  
  
When Richie had suggested they’d go to the beach after a very long stressful week in late October and Eddie blindly agreed.  
  
They walked on the beach, looked at the ocean. Richie talked about his husband. He always did. They had problems like every relationship Eddie figures, but lately Richie seemed desperate when he brought up his husband. His voice always had an edge to it and Eddie could not decipher it.  
  
It was strange he could read anyone, he had always been good at reading people, but for some reason Richie was so hard for him.  
  
Eddie pauses briefly to look out and stare as far as he could. The ocean stretching miles away, the surface being the only known thing, while underneath lay an array of sea creatures and life. He had a brief moment of feeling small. Feeling like whatever troubles he had were nothing compared to just how enormous the world was. He closed his eyes and breathed hard.  
  
It was the first time in a while that he allowed himself to just concentrate on his breathing and not Richie and whatever feelings Eddie might be developing for him.  
  
When he opened them, he looked at Richie who was just staring at him.  
  
“You okay there Eds?” He’d call out, still staring at him.  
  
“Yeah... the beach is nice. I forgot about that.” Eddie had smiled and Richie easily returned the smile.  
  
Later that day they had ate in a restaurant by the beach. Richie had suggested to have a bite before they drove back to their offices. While waiting to be seated Eddie accidentally was in the way of some waiters.  
  
“Oh, sweetheart here-“ Richie cut off and Eddie blushed deeply. He pretended he didn’t hear Richie accidentally call him by his husband’s pet name. And Richie moved on from that easily, ignoring it and saying “Eddie, here.” He probably did think Eddie had not heard it.  
  
But Eddie had heard it, and something settled in his stomach, something small but ever growing.  
  
They had lunch and then drove back to the office. Richie had pulled him in for a sideway hug and Eddie tried not to melt. He felt a soft kiss on the top of his head and his breath caught off.  
  
“There’s not a lot of people in this planet that would drop everything and go to the beach with me so... thank you.” Richie smiles as they pull back. “You’re an amazing person Eddie.”  
  
Eddie blushes and shrugs, “We needed a break.”  
  
Richie shakes his head, “We did... but still. This meant a lot. Thank you.”  
  
Eddie drove back that day with a heavy heart. He pushed it away of course. He did perhaps late at night remember how soft and delicate Richie had said ‘sweetheart’ to him. Perhaps it fueled way too many fantasies. But that’s all there was. Fantasies.  
  
It didn’t help that now Eddie was becoming more and more attracted to Richie. Sometimes he’d just notice way he’d pursue his lips or bite them when he had an idea, he needed time to articulate. His very deep voice which... which was so stupid. Eddie knew how he sounded so why was he so bothered now every time he talked?!  
  
It was bizarre and just annoying him to no end. But still he continued to notice everything about him.  
  
Or how Eddie noticed their height and size difference, how Richie towered over him and just how small he felt whenever Richie hugged him. It made Eddie lose his breath each time. Sometimes Richie would stretch or lean back in such a way that Eddie just thought he’d look great if he could just straddle him. 

Or his hands... anything he did with his hands had Eddie almost with a raging hard on.  
  
The sexual desire was so much for him to bare. But he’s resisting. He’s going out with Mike a lot. Mike was his roommate and friend since childhood. He had been through it all and they had been renting an apartment together ever since Eddie got his life back and left his mother. Mike was his best friend and he was lucky to have him.  
  
But even as close as Eddie is with him, he hadn’t told him about his boss. Eddie doesn’t think he’d understand, and it felt oddly thrilling to have this secret. Nevertheless, Mike was not suspicious when Eddie starts having sex twice a month as oppose to not at all for months. He is just happy his friend is ‘getting some.’  
  
And it didn’t help that they continue to have nice intimate conversations. About life, about the soul, about what the universe all could mean. Richie was very spiritual, and Eddie never really thought about it a lot. So therefore, he was mesmerized with everything Richie told him, it was nice to have his mind open to new things.  
  
There was the time Eddie accompanied Richie to get some new jeans. Eddie still thinks about how Richie’s cock outlined in those extremely tight jeans. Or the other time where Richie took him out for breakfast on his birthday. He didn’t work that day, but Richie still insisted to take him out and celebrate.  
  
Eddie was just going to go out later that night and drink more than he usually did, get drunk and maybe lucky.  
  
The breakfast had been good and at the end Richie had hugged him so tight Eddie felt almost boneless. Then he whispered in his ear, “Happy 27th birthday Eds.”  
  
There was the other time where Eddie suggested they go get a smoothie and instead of having it at the smoothie place, they parked in an isolated place and just talked. Eddie shared so many things that day.  
  
Two cars parked in front of them and a blonde lady stepped out carrying a bag. A brunette lady from the adjacent car steps out and gets the bag from her. They hug and part ways.  
  
Eddie looks over at Richie, “Did we just notice a drug deal?”  
  
“What?” Richie snorted throwing his head back. “Why do you think that?”  
  
“They meet in a remote parking lot and she hands her a bag... isn’t that fishy? Look white women being drug dealers is pretty common, just because police don’t catch them doesn’t mean it’s not common!” Eddie explains his reasoning, sipping on his banana berry smoothie.  
  
“You have the wildest imagination but honestly you could be right.” Richie shrugs then looks back at Eddie. “So, you like to people watch?”  
  
“Yeah. Sometimes. I like to guess what each person is up to.” Eddie shrugs, “Everyone is always busy you know? I like to make up stories in my head as to what they’re doing. People are sometimes a dead giveaway, depending on their body language.”  
  
Richie just keeps staring at him and then looks away, he starts his truck back. The rest of the way back the office is a quiet drive. Eddie briefly wonders if he said something wrong.  
  
Once they get to the office, Richie slides his hand over Eddie’s. “My husband… he people watches but you know what he does? He doesn’t make up cute little stories. He... He makes fun of people. It’s... sad and terrible really.”  
  
Eddie is frozen, Richie has his hand over his and he feels his cheeks getting hot at what Richie is speaking about. Once again Richie is sharing how unhappy he is with his husband’s actions. But it’s the first time he’s ever explicitly compared his husband to Eddie.  
  
Richie takes his hand away and shuts his eyes painfully, “This is so unfair. I shouldn’t tell that to you. My husband is a nice person but fuck...” He shakes his head. “You’re just... so innocent and so kind. Don’t ever change, you’re a wonderful person.”  
  
Eddie doesn’t know what to say until he sees Richie step out of his truck and he follows. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. When he looks over at Richie, he sees such a pained look. He hugged Eddie and he felt his entire body jolt.  
  
Richie didn’t mention that either. Not the following Monday. Just a small smile when he saw him again. Maybe their relationship was just meant to be like this.  
  
The thing was Richie was so open with him, so much like a best friend but more intense. Eddie had told him things he’d never told Mike before. And Richie even confessed once he never told his husband. The intimacy level of their relationship left Eddie dizzy if he thought about it too much.  
  
Apart from wanting to jump Richie’s bones, Eddie also just wanted to have hour long conversations with him. He craved his time.  
  
He also recalls just a week ago when Eddie had almost a panic attack. It had been a normal day, Eddie coming in at noon. Then his mother called. His mother rarely called him.  
  
All his life his mother had always made him feel small and inferior. She raised him to always be dependent on her and thus hopefully never leaving her. And Eddie hated thinking back on his childhood and adolescence knowing that for his first 16 years that’s really what he thought that his mother was the only one that could protect him.  
  
Then he learned about the fake medication and the fake diagnoses. And the fact that his asthma attacks were actually just anxiety attacks. His world had shatter, but it had opened up a whole new one. He fought with his mother a lot, but she was still in his life and he had come to terms with that.  
  
However, after learning that Eddie was gay and also didn’t want her help; help included him going to some type of camp which Eddie completely refused and thus he moved out. And after Eddie completely cut her out of his life, she simply didn’t try to contact him. There were times where she’d call again asking if he was still a faggot.  
  
This was one of those times. And it still affected Eddie so much.  
  
Eddie barely answered and his mom started yelling at him. Screaming things like “are you done yet? Are you well now?”  
  
His mother always referred to him being gay as either an unfortunate phase or some sort of sickness. He hung up quickly, but the damage had been done. He started hyperventilating and his eyes filled with tears. He felt his surroundings start to close in on him and he couldn’t stop shaking. Eddie stands up, figures he could lock himself in the bathroom and ride this out.  
  
“Eds?” He heard someone say and looked over and it was Richie standing in front of his office with a concerned look. Eddie couldn’t even speak, he just shook his head. The next thing he felt Richie’s strong arms enveloping in a tight hug. “Hey c’mon Eddie, breath okay. In and out, inhale and exhale.” He rests his head against Richie’s shoulder and closes his eyes  
  
Breathing, of course. Eddie could do that. So, he does. He feels a soft hand soothe his back as his lungs started working again. He was still shaking but he was slightly calmer. Richie’s shoulder was still his pillow. He finally opens his eyes and Richie still has that concerned look on his face.  
  
“Better?” He whispered and Eddie nods slowly. He feels Richie’s hand cup his face, his thumb tracing his cheek delicately. “What happened?”  
  
“My mom called…” Eddie whispers, “I’ve told you about her right?”  
  
Richie nods, he grimaces, “Guess it was unpleasant call again.”  
  
“Sort of, I barely answered and all she wanted to know was that if I had stopped being gay.” Eddie lets out a humorless chuckle.  
  
“Shit. What the hell?” Richie shakes his head, “Fuck her Eddie. Don’t let her keep doing this to you.”  
  
“S’not that easy Rich...” Eddie sighs, “She’s always going to fuck me up.”  
  
“No, that doesn’t have to be the fucking case. Just block her number or change your number. You don’t owe her shit Eddie. You are doing nothing wrong. You got yourself through college, you are living your life independent from her. You are everything she never thought you’d be. Fuck her.” Eddie doesn’t think he’d ever seen Richie so intense before. He had this look in his eye and he spoke every word with purpose. “Plus…” He softens up and gives him a small smile, “You work at the best counseling center in the area, with the best boss and mentor.”  
  
Eddie feels his face breakout in a smile, “You’re right.” He hums playfully, “Well the boss and mentor thing are debatable.”  
  
Richie snorts and shrugs, “Fair enough.” He looks at Eddie for a moment longer and then drops his hand and disentangles himself. “Feeling better?”  
  
Eddie nods and wipes at his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Yeah. Thanks, my… this is usually worse so thanks.”  
  
Richie smiles at him, sliding his hand on top of his shoulder and squeezing. “What are bosses for?”  
  
Eddie shakes his head chuckling softly, “I’m sure we are on the friends level now Rich.”  
  
Richie’s face breaks into a wide grin, “That is very true, so I guess I am the best boss, mentor, and friend. Wow what a day for me!”  
  
Eddie laughs and rolls his eyes, “Yeah yeah whatever! Get out of my office, I have work to do.”  
  
Richie salutes him, “Yes boss!” Eddie snorts and sits back down on his chair and hears a knock. He looks up to see Richie leaning against the door, “You are okay right?”  
  
“Yeah I am… thanks again. Don’t repeat this again but you are... the best.” Eddie said truthfully, feeling his chest tighten.  
  
Richie looks at him, again with a look Eddie just can’t decipher. He nods, “You are the best too.” He turns around, walking back to his office. For the rest of the week Eddie kept thinking about how Richie had held him with such affection.

  
This afternoon however, Eddie hit his breaking point. Richie changed his cologne; Eddie could smell it as he walked into his office. His office was two rooms from Richie’s and the smell as intoxicating.  
  
He’d never been into cologne, like was this just a weird kink he didn’t know he had? Leave it to Richie to awake something else in Eddie.  
  
Eddie was called into his office and he grips the desk as he closes his eyes and tries to concentrate on something else.  
  
Richie is sitting down in front of his desk as usual, typing away. “Hey Eds!” He chirps and gives a warm smile. He was wearing a navy button up, his recently trimmed hair, his stubble and his fucking cologne hit Eddie all at once.  
  
It was a miracle he got things done, like paperwork and filing. The interns were in spring break and now he had to do his own filing. But that was the kind of busy work that only occupied his hands, not his mind. His mind was full of fantasies that were definitely not safe for work. It wasn’t like Eddie thought he could break up a marriage. He wasn’t that type of person. But oh, the thought crossed his mind so many times.  
  
The way Richie would express his feelings about his marriage, it was evident things were not good. He couldn’t even fathom that. He couldn’t even comprehend how someone married to Richie wouldn’t value him the way he should.  
  
Richie’s husband, Ray Tozier, who Eddie has met and has always been oh so fucking pleasant to him. Ray even got him a present for the new year. He gave him advice on how to beat out flu season and those crazy migraines Eddie gets from too much stress. On several occasions he has joined them for the staff dinners, and he is always so delightful.  
  
So, Eddie should feel guilty because he was over here thinking of all the ways Richie could fuck him in his office. But sometimes… he didn’t. Why couldn’t Ray appreciate Richie the way Eddie did?  
  
The thing is Eddie had never been attracted to older guys. No, not even professors. But there was just something about Richie. He made Eddie feel so special, he’d showered him with praise, complimented his ideas. He even gave him good advice and listened to Eddie when he rambles about his mom. Eddie was sure Richie saw him as a younger brother or something.  
  
There are times though... times where Eddie wonders if the attraction is mutual. Not just wonders, but honestly considers it being a possibility. Like when Eddie bought a pair of new trousers.  
  
“Are those new?” Richie had asked once he walked into the front door and removed his coat.  
  
Eddie glanced down at his burgundy fitted trousers and nods, “Got them as a Christmas gift from my roommate.”  
  
Richie stared at them, probably longer than necessary and nods, “Look really nice on you..” He trails off as he stares and Eddie blushes slightly. His boss snaps out of it and clears his throat, “You ready for the group session tonight?”  
  
And that was that. But for some reason it didn’t feel like it was. Richie continued complimenting Eddie’s appearance but never like he did that time.  
  
For Valentine’s Day when Eddie was complaining about once again being single.  
  
“Are you always single or is it your first time?” Richie wonders as he sets his book down. They were in Eddie’s office after their last group session.  
  
“No, I’m usually always single this time around.” Eddie shrugs, typing away in his computer.  
  
“Why? You always dump them before or what?” Richie asks, his tone was humorous but with obvious curiosity.  
  
“Uh no.. I just don’t have a lot of luck I guess. If I am dating someone, they feel pressured to go this day because of its implications. So.. yeah.” Eddie finishes lamely, he hits print on the counseling note and goes to start on another one.  
  
“What the fuck is wrong with those guys?!” Richie surprises Eddie by sounding actually upset. Eddie looks over at him and he is frowning. “How the hell are they just too scared for commitment with someone as great as you? I don’t fucking get 20-year olds! How do they not want to instantly marry you? I don’t get it!”  
  
“Oh, c’mon people don’t get instantly married anymore! Love at first sight isn’t real!” Eddie rolls his eyes, “I appreciate the sentiment, but it’s okay. Probably be best not to keep dating someone so scared of a commercial holiday anyways.”  
  
Richie seems to calm down and nods, “Yeah definitely did you a favor I suppose. I mean because if I was your age well..” Eddie raises an eyebrow at him, and Richie’s eyes widened. “What I mean is that.. um like obviously I’m 40 so-“  
  
Richie never gets to explain himself because his phone rings and he rushes out the door to take the call. Eddie continued wondering what he really meant.  
  
If Richie was his age… unmarried…  
  
Eddie shakes his head because no. Richie was not his age, Richie was married. Even though his marriage was shaky right now, Richie loved his husband. He told Eddie that constantly. So, no. He was not going to be a home wrecker. He was not going to participate in some type of workplace affair.  
  
It was late and they were in Eddie’s office. The entire day had been complete torture for him, his cologne was slowly becoming the needle in the haystack. Richie was sitting next to him going over his notes, he was humming to himself and every time he moved his hand to swipe his hair from hisforehead he’d get hit by another waft of his cologne.  
  
“Just correct the date and you can print them out so I can sign them. Then we can finally roll out of here.” Richie smiles at him again and Eddie just can’t take it.  
  
He surges forward, slamming his lips against Richie’s. A second passes and he gasps, moving back.  
  
Richie eyes were wide behind his glasses, he was completely frozen.  
  
“Shit... oh fuck fuck.” Eddie whispers as he moves back, “R-Richie shit. Hell.”  
  
He didn’t even know where to start apologizing. He didn’t even know how he was going to make this situation okay. Could he ever make this situation okay? He just kissed his boss. His married boss.  
  
“I should...” Eddie starts and shakes his head because no. Apologize first then leave. “I’m sorry. Fuck I’m so sorry. I’m sor-“  
  
He’s cut off by Richie’s lips. His boss is kissing him now. He’s so utterly shocked it doesn’t register until seconds ticked by. Eddie feels Richie about to pull back when he reacts. His hands slide around his neck as he pulls him closer. Lips sliding against each other, hungry and desperate.  
  
It had been building up to this and despite the logical side of his brain screaming him to stop it, he didn’t. He couldn’t. He’s been wanting this for months now, he has a hunger that hasn’t been satisfied. A craving that’s making him go insane. No matter how many nameless guys fuck him, this is what he’s been looking for.  
  
Eddie moans softly as Richie nips at his bottom lip and he very easily slips his tongue inside his mouth. They both moan at the contact and before Eddie knows it, he’s on Richie’s lap.  
  
This is where he belongs, right there. On Richie’s lap, lips attached and hands roaming trying to feel each other up. His hand slides around his hair, fingers twisting around his locks and he pulls slightly.  
  
Richie moans so loudly and Eddie actually feels his dick twitch in his pants. For some reason that’s what makes Richie break. He pulls apart and stands up, almost knocking Eddie to the ground.  
  
His lips are swollen, his glasses are askew, his hair is a mess... he’s never looked better. “Eddie...” He whispers and no. Eddie didn’t want to hear it.  
  
All his life he’s heard everything he wasn’t supposed to do. All his life people have been trying to “protect” him, to make sure he does what’s right. All his life his mother kept him from what he truly wanted to do. Not anymore. This was the moment before he fell off the cliff. This was the moment he wasn’t about to double guess it and not have Richie this way.  
  
“Please...” Eddie begs, he steps forward, crowding Richie against the wall. He leans in pressing kisses on his neck while his hand slid down his chest and stopped at his belt. He looks up at Richie, “Please... just let me.”  
  
Richie bites his lip and nods. “Okay.” Eddie takes that confirmation and slides his hand down to his crotch, rubbing his palm down. His boss moans, “Fuck Eddie, don’t tease.” And who was Eddie to not follow his instructions?  
  
He didn’t tease anymore. He simply sunk down to his knees, worked his belt off and slid his slacks down. Eddie thought about teasing him again especially with that wet spot that was very prominent on his boxers but no. Wanting to give Richie a blowjob was something he’d constantly fantasize about. He was starving, he needed that cock in his mouth.  
  
Eddie slid down Richie’s boxers and then he was met face to face with his cock. It was bigger than he’d expected, nicer and so fucking appetizing. He takes it in his hands, strokes it slowly. He hears Richie sharp breath intakes and smirks a little.  
  
His tongue darts out, licking around the head, feeling the pulse and moaning softly. Eddie couldn’t take it, he needed to taste more. He licks a stripe and groans. His mouth returns to his boss head where it was leaking a bit of pre cum. Yeah this was better than his fantasies.  
  
With no warning he completely deep throats his cock. He feels it tingle down his throat and he closes his eyes darting his tongue around in random patterns.  
  
Richie is completely losing it. He’s moaning so loudly as his nails are scraping his neck. Eddie had just started, and Richie already seemed close.  
  
Eddie felt his cock throb at that, at what he could do to Richie. Perhaps he wasn’t the only one who fantasized about this every night. Another possibility surrounded his mind, maybe his marriage problems had left this gorgeous clock neglected. Maybe a more likely possibility but nevertheless, Eddie was happy to be of service.  
  
He starts bobbing his head, sucking around him. He strokes the length that couldn’t fit in his mouth. It’s all so messy the way his mouth is dripping but it seems to turn on Richie even more. Eddie could literally feel him pulsing in his mouth.  
  
“Eds...” Richie pants, almost like a warning.  
  
Eddie knows what’s coming but he doesn’t pull him out of his mouth. No, he wants that. He’s starving and needs to be feed. He simply hums in delight and closes his eyes.  
  
“Oh fuck!” Richie gasps as he releases down Eddie’s throat.  
  
Eddie chokes slightly but he didn’t pull off until he’s milked every single drop of cum. Once he does pull off, Richie’s soft dick just hangs there. He tucks him back in, pressing a kiss to his inner thigh and then slides his slacks back on.  
  
His cock is so hard against his own slacks and he needs to get off soon. He’s so close he just needs Richie. Eddie stares at Richie sees the wildfire raging through his eyes. He is so happy he gets to see him this way. It almost makes him finish on the spot. But he wants Richie’s hands on him, he is not opposed to begging.  
  
Eddie doesn’t even have to beg for Richie this time. Richie pulls him in, mouthing at his neck as he easily undoes his zipper and slides his hand inside. His glasses dig into his skin and he almost reaches up and takes them off, but he is interrupted.  
  
“Richie...” He moans brokenly as he feels Richie’s big strong hand take his cock. He uses the pre cum to spread over his length and then starts stroking him fast. Richie starts sucking small marks on the side of his neck, making Eddie fall against him in pure pleasure.  
  
“C’mon sweetheart,” Richie says, and his voice sounds so far raspy, probably due to the fact of how much he was moaning earlier. But it’s the way he says sweetheart combined with the way his thumb messes with the head of his cock that really does it for Eddie.  
  
He throws his head back and cums in his hand, his body trembling as he rode out his orgasm. He slumps a little and Richie easily holds onto him. His big arm and large hand holding his small waist.  
  
Eddie feels Richie slide his hand out and his breathing is slowly going back to normal. Despite the bliss he feels, despite just how sated he feels, he knows what comes next. At least what should come next. But he doesn’t want the talk. He doesn’t want to hear about how fucked up this was.  
  
The thing is Eddie has already made this decision. He has already lost all reason the minute Richie started kissing him back. There was no way back. Even if someone gave him a map, he’d never go back.  
  
His mother always said he’d go to hell, perhaps his mother was right. Maybe this was what his mother wanted to protect him from, from himself and his impulses. Eddie briefly wondered what she’d say if she ever found out Eddie hooked up with an older gay married man.  
  
Eddie breaths in the sweet delicious cologne and disentangles himself from Richie without a word. He gets his things and heads over to the door. He pauses briefly and turns over to Richie.  
  
Richie was still standing there frozen, his hand still covered in Eddie’s cum and he looked uncertain. Yet his eyes still had that fire Eddie saw minutes before.  
  
Eddie gave him a smile, a soft genuine smile because yeah perhaps this was fucked up. But they both want it, so who was anyone to stop them from this? Eddie certainly wasn’t going to, and Richie had allowed him, even reciprocated.  
  
He turns and despite how uncomfortable his jeans feel he felt, fresh and true.  
  
Eddie knew this was not going to be the only time, not when he knew how Richie’s cock felt when it released. Not when he knew how strong Richie’s hand felt on his cock. Not when he knew just how much Richie had enjoyed it. He wouldn’t let it be a one-time thing, that much he promised himself as he drove back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you leave a comment, please be kind!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, Richie’s husband couldn’t offer him what Eddie could. Eddie still had the upper hand in this. He lifts his hands, rest them against his chest just to feel the rise of his chest. ‘You can have me Richie.’ ”
> 
> Things don’t turn out so smoothly as Eddie thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me longer than what i thought it was going to take. 
> 
> also please take this as a disclaimer. eddie is not a good person in this fic, his thinking is very much flawed and i had never written something like this before so it was exciting for me. the eddie in this fic is obsessive and sometimes even manipulative. so you been warned. 
> 
> anyways please enjoy. again im sorry for any grammar or spelling errors.

The day after Eddie wakes up and he feels exactly the same as he did yesterday. It was the weekend now and he was not going to be able to see Richie.

The thing is… he knows he should give Richie space. Whenever Eddie allowed himself to think logically for a few seconds, he knows that Richie must feel incredible guilty. But he honestly didn’t care. Since they hooked up all Eddie was thinking was about how to convince Richie that he could give him everything his husband couldn’t.

All he wanted was to be back in Richie’s strong arms and smell his cologne as he got him off again. Eddie did feel a little guilt, but it was something so miniscule he could easily push it all the way to the back of his mind and lock it up.

Despite how slow the days passed; it was finally Monday. Richie wasn’t in his office, which wasn’t particularly strange, Eddie usually arrived first. Today Eddie had worn those trousers Richie had complimented; he even spent a little more time combing his hair back. He wanted to look extremely nice for him. Nice enough that he could convince Richie this was okay when the inevitable talk came.

When Richie did show up, Eddie felt his stomach flutter for a split second. Then Richie slipped past him without a greeting, not even an acknowledgement.

Eddie was a little confused. He expected at least some time of tell that Richie either felt guilty or that he wanted more.

He frowns and stands up, making his way to Richie’s office.

Richie was sitting down, typing on his computer furiously. He was dressed like every other day. But his hair seemed messier, like when he keeps running his fingers through it. He hadn’t shaved, his stubble more pronounced than on Friday.

“Richie?” Eddie asks, a little wary.

Richie seems to flinch a little and looks up once, eyes connecting with Eddie. He looks back down and Eddie swallows. “Close the door, we have to talk.” He says, a note of irritation to his tone of voice.

Eddie does as he is told, closes the door and comes closer, standing in front of his desk. “What’s up?”

Richie takes his glasses off, setting them on his desk, he rubs his eyes and inhales sharply. “What’s up?! Jesus Eddie!” Eddie is, needless to say, stricken by his tone. Richie looks at him, eyes wide with fury. “What we did on Friday… was so fucking bad! I cannot even begin to think of the amount of fucked up that it was Eddie! We should have never done that! It was a huge fucking mistake that I fucking regret!”

Eddie never expected Richie to use the word regret. “Richie… what we did wasn’t-“

He is cut off by Richie’s scoff, “Wasn’t what? Wasn’t bad? I am married Eddie! I cheated on my husband! Fuck! What if my husband finds out? FUCK!”

Instead of feeling abashed, Eddie felt completely enraged.

“Oh, so now you fucking remember you have a husband?” Eddie sneers, planting his hands down on the desk and looking at Richie. “Pretty sure that was far from your mind when your cock was down my fucking throat!”

“Shut up!” Richie says in a pained voice as guilt flashes through his face.

“No!” Eddie snaps at him, “I am not fucking shutting up! You don’t get to come here and attack me! You don’t get to use the marriage card Richie! You don’t get to act like you didn’t fucking love everything we did.” Richie doesn’t say anything, so Eddie continues. “Please, the way you came down my throat is just proof. So, you cheated on your stupid husband? Who cares? Not me! I don’t care, you deserve to be touched and pleasured that way and if your husband isn’t doing that for you, I will gladly sign up.”

“SHUT UP!” Richie yells at him and Eddie immediately feels a pinch behind his eyelids. He had never seen Richie this mad before. Richie takes a deep breath and he glares at Eddie, “You cannot fucking say things like that. It is not right.”

Richie seemed like he was going to continue with his speech, but Eddie had heard enough. “You know what?” He interrupts him, “Fine. Whatever you fucking say Richie. Whatever makes you feel less guilty about what we did. I don’t feel guilty and I am not going to feel guilty. And if you want to fool yourself then go ahead but you and I both know that you’ll daydream about me, you’ll crave me, you’ll beg for me. And once that happens, I will happily obliged.” Richie looked like he wanted to interrupt but Eddie wasn’t letting him have that pleasure. “I have enough saved sick days to take the week off. See you next week.”

He turns around, rushing to his office and grabbing his things. When he is about to walk out the building he hears a faint “Eddie”, but he ignores it and walks faster to his car.

Eddie didn’t know what he would gain from that. He knows that Richie is still his boss and he can lose his job on top of everything else. Perhaps he is stupid, perhaps he doesn’t know Richie the way he thinks he does. But he knows deep down Richie wouldn’t do that.

Richie doesn’t reach out to him that’s the thing. He doesn’t even try to call or check up on him. On the second day of staying home Eddie starts to spiral a little.

He was very much in love with Richie and maybe he should have just told him that instead of running out on the job like a kid. He did act immature and at this point, he knows he should be showing Richie maturity. He should be giving Richie no pointless drama like his husband. He should be better than his husband. Perhaps being too aggressive wasn’t the way to go, perhaps Richie could see it differently.

Eddie gets out of bed and gets ready, he doesn’t over dress like he did Monday though. He wears his regular dark slacks with a nice sweater. He gets to the facility and sees Richie’s car is there. That was good, just him. He could apologize and show him how professional and drama free he could be.

He frowns when he realizes that the front door is locked. That was strange, but he had his keys, so he easily lets himself in. Eddie is about to call out to Richie when he hears several hushed noises.

They were coming from Richie’s office and Eddie should have not rush as fast as he did to figure out what said noises were.

Richie and his husband were against the desk. They were kissing each other urgently and their hands were working their clothes off each other.

Eddie can’t help but gasp loudly at which he immediately regrets. Richie and his husband pull apart completely startled.

“I’m…. so sorry.” Eddie says as he stands there frozen for a few seconds. He looks at Richie and he is also frozen with an unreadable expression.

“Eddie its fine..” Ray’s voice rings and Eddie almost flinches at hearing his voice.

Eddie just shakes his head, turns around. “Sorry, carry on. I was just leaving.” He excuses himself lamely and again rushes to leave.

He was shaking the entire way home and when he finally gets in his room. He was thankful Mike wasn’t around, he didn’t want to explain the fiasco.

Eddie felt like a complete and total idiot. Richie was going to have sex with his husband, at the office. Richie was going to brush off whatever they did and try to build his stupid marriage back with his husband. Why did Eddie ever think he had a chance?

He was so stupidly and insanely in love he became blinded for a moment. He thought he could have Richie. Richie who was the only person Eddie would ever throw his entire belief system down for. But that wasn’t enough for Richie though. Richie made it clear and it felt hopeless to even keep trying.

What was the point if he would never have Richie the way he wanted to? And it was so excruciatingly painful because Eddie knew he could be a better husband than Ray. If Richie just let him, he could be someone who met all of Richie’s needs.

But that was never going to happen, Richie complicated everything and what did Eddie know? He was just a kid. He was 13 years younger than Richie, completely unmarried with enough baggage to fill an entire airplane.

After crying for what it felt like an eternity he decided he needed to blow off steam. It was not the brightest idea he has had, but Eddie doesn’t have time for good ideas anymore. He was on a reckless streak for now.

Eddie gets into something more comfortable; he leaves his sweater and changes to some flattering jeans. He needed to get laid, hopefully by someone with broad shoulders and a dazzling grin.

It was the middle of the week, so the bar scene wasn’t too crowded. For the most part, the bars were empty as he walked down the sidewalk trying to figure out which bar looked more promising. He finally found one that wasn’t too crowded but at least it didn’t look empty. The bar stools were mostly full and the booths to the side seemed littered with people. It wouldn’t be too long anyways, he just needed to be properly fucked so he could at least forget Richie Tozier’s name for a few moments.

Eddie barely has one drink when he spots a familiar face down the far end of the bar, in an obscure booth. Richie was leaning back against the booth and downing a drink. Eddie frowns a little, Richie wasn’t the one to do this. From what he remembers, Richie was more of a casual wine guy.

Eddie needs to leave this bar, Richie being here spoils his original plans. He doesn’t get the opportunity to leave unseen because Richie then meets his gaze. Eddie wants to go over there and ask him what he is doing here, but no that was not his place.

He grits his teeth in pure annoyance, and he leaves a couple bills on the bar tabletop. He turns fast, trying to figure out if he should just use Grindr instead. He is hurrying down the sidewalk and finally reaches the parking garage.

Eddie takes the stairs; his fear of elevators is still there despite his reckless streak.

“Eddie!” He hears a very familiar voice call out to him and he turns instantly. Richie is a couple of stairs below him. His mouth is a little swollen and his eyes look a little glassy. He looks like he had been crying.

“Can you leave me alone? I didn’t know you were going to be there. Go back and get drunk or whatever, just leave me alone.” Eddie snaps at him.

“I wasn’t… I’m not drunk.” Richie answers, looking hesitant. “I just had one drink, was going to go home. Didn’t think I’d run into you.”

This was small talk; this was whatever stupid conversation they could have before Richie asked what he wanted.

Eddie was not in the mood for that and he tightens his jaw, “What do you want?”

Richie surprises him but letting out a hard chuckle. He steps closer, invades Eddie’s space. “You ever heard of the saying ‘you can’t always get what you want’?”

He nods, feeling his heart hammer wildly at the close proximity of Richie. “That doesn’t answer my question though.” Eddie is surprised he manages to keep a steady voice.

Richie chuckles again, his breath had traces of alcohol and that cologne that still made his mouth water. “I want what I cannot get.” Eddie raises an eyebrow about to ask when Richie’s hands slide around his waist, big and possessive almost. “I shouldn’t want you this badly Eds…”

Eddie swallows and tries very hard not to fall apart, he wanted to maintain some dignity. “You seemed to have forgotten me this evening.” His voice with a strong hint of hurt in it, just to remind him because he should know just how much it hurt Eddie to see that.

“If you only knew…” Richie sighs looking pained. “I just wanted to see if there was any passion there, any type of spontaneity…” He shakes his head, deep in thought. “All he did was get mad at me because you caught us.” He laughs bitterly, “You wouldn’t have cared, you wouldn’t have left.”

So, Richie’s husband couldn’t offer him what Eddie could. Eddie still had the upper hand in this. He lifts his hands, rest them against his chest just to feel the rise of his chest. “You can have me Richie.”

Richie shakes his head, “No no no…” He doesn’t try to disentangle away, however. “Look at what I’ve done to you. I’ve corrupted you into this. I knew I was attracted to you from the start, but I let myself continue. I knew I should’ve have pushed you away, but I couldn’t! And now… look. I’ve done this, I’ve made you become this person. Eddie you do not deserve a married person. I cannot give you what you deserve.”

“You haven’t made me become anything Richie!” Eddie whispers almost angrily. “I have been wanting you for the longest time and I’ve fought it. I kept telling myself it was not okay, but after last week..” He closes his eyes and leans in a little, “You want me too and I will not be fighting this anymore. I don’t care that you are married.”

Eddie opens his eyes and Richie still looked distressed. He leans in again, giving him time to push him away. He doesn’t however, Richie actually leans in pressing his lips against Eddie’s. It’s a gentle kiss, their lips almost hesitant compared to the last time they kissed. Richie cups his face, his thumb stroking his cheek delicately.

Richie pulls back just slightly and shakes his head, “You are so tender, so nice.” Eddie feels the blush spread against his cheeks. He moves back and Eddie can’t help but pout. “But we can’t Eddie.” He slides his hands away from his waist and steps back, “Take all the time you need, you’ll still have a job when you come back.”

Eddie just watches him leave. He is not in the mood to hook up with a nameless guy after that. He goes back to his apartment and Mike is there.

“Hey… you okay?” Mike asks from the living room couch. Eddie can’t find it in himself to move from the entryway. He bursts out crying and slides down the floor. Mike gets up fast, joining him on the floor, “Eddie? What’s wrong? Did your mom call?”

How could Eddie even explain this to him? How could Eddie explain that he was obsessed and very in love with his boss and wants to convince to have an affair? Mike would never understand.

So, he lies. “Yeah… she called again.”

“Oh Eddie! I’m sorry!” Mike hugs him tight. “She’s not fucking worth it, remember that Eddie.”

He lets Mike hug him and comfort him. It felt nice despite that he wasn’t being comforted for the real reason he was crying.

Richie texts him the next day. When Eddie sees the notification he almost falls out of his bed. Disappointment floods through him however, he was only wondering where a patient’s file was located. He replied and Richie just gave a thumbs up.

Throughout the day he simply wondered if he wanted to push Richie. It didn’t seem like such a bad idea. Perhaps it was putting stress on Richie. But he didn’t want this to get away from him. Richie and he could be magic together.

He thought back to the conversation. Richie had tried to be spontaneous and sexy with his husband. His husband however, got mad. Irritation filled Eddie just thinking of that. Ray was never going to appreciate Richie the way he deserved. He didn’t know what a wonderful man he had.

Richie’s sad face yesterday, sad that his husband didn’t respond and sad that Eddie would. Of course, he would, he would do anything for Richie.

The thought should scare him, but it doesn’t. And he was not going to back off. He needed time still, but he would go back to work and would strive to show Richie just how good Eddie could be for him.

Eddie knows his thinking might be flawed, but again he was not letting himself indulge in that. His profession almost begged him to indulge on it but no, his patients were the only ones who were going to benefit from that.

It was Friday again and he was thinking back to everything that happened. Passionate memories filled his mind and he almost reached for his phone and dialed Richie.

That wouldn’t be wise, that was pressuring him again and Eddie didn’t want to necessarily do that yet. He did need to get laid, even if it wasn’t Richie. He had been on the edge almost all week and now with all the memories swirling in his head, he was desperate than ever.

Eddie opened his Grindr app and in a couple hours he had a guy who was more than willing to give him what he desperately needed.

“A hook-up?” Mike asked as he looks at Eddie who was grabbing his keys and wallet. Eddie blushes and raises an eyebrow silently asking him how he guessed. He snorts, “You always wear track shorts and a hoodie for your dick appointments.”

“Don’t call them that!” Eddie whines but chuckles.

Mike shrugs and smiles, “That’s what they are, but hey be careful and have fun.”

“Always do!” Eddie chirps as he leaves the apartment. He clicks on the app and copies the address the individual gave him. His heart sunk a little as he realizes he’ll have to drive pass the facility. It was fine, he could do it.

Eddie starts driving and soon enough he is at the stoplight that is before his workplace. He can see that there is only one car parked, meaning that the group counseling session ended, and Richie was just there by himself.

Before he knows it he is parking next to Richie’s truck. He was only going to say hi or something and then he would be on his way. He wanted to get laid, so he wasn’t going to stay long.

The door was still open and Eddie walks in going straight to Richie’s office. He was in there typing away on his computer and did a double take when his gaze landed on Eddie.

“Eddie?” Richie says a little surprised.

Eddie bites his lip; he hadn’t really thought about what to say. He just let his impulse to see Richie win.

“What are you doing here?” Richie stands up and his gaze drops to Eddie’s shorts. “Are you.. are you going to the gym?”

“Uh no I’m…” Going to get laid, Eddie finished in his head. “I just passed through and…” He sighs, “Look Richie, I am not going to give up. I feel… something for you. And it’s good, it makes me feel good. And I don’t want to push it away. But I understand that’s what you want to do. So, I am not pressuring you, I am just letting you know. I will be back to work but my feelings towards…” He gestures between them, “My feelings and thoughts are not changing.”

Richie just stares at him, it appeared that he was processing what Eddie had just said. Eddie still felt his chest deflate a little, he should have kept driving straight to this guy’s house to get fucked instead.

“Anyways, I’ll be on my way. Goodnight.” Eddie pursues his lips and gives him a wave as he turns around. He hoped this Grindr guy had stamina cause Eddie needed to forget Richie at least twice tonight.

“Why are you dressed like that?” Is what Eddie heard before he left Richie’s office. He turns instantly and Richie’s eyes are looking down, at his shorts.

It took Eddie a moment to realize Richie was affected by his track shorts. He clears his throat and Richie’s eyes snap up to his face. Eddie could see behind his eyes the fire he saw a week ago.

“This is what I wear when I want to tempt guys into fucking me.” Eddie answered honestly because he did. He knew the shorts were extremely flattering on him. They showed off the nice curve of his ass and his strong thighs. He wore them to get his hook ups riled up to ensure a good fucking.

Richie’s mouth falls open a little, his eyes double in size. The fire in them starting to sizzle even more. Good, Eddie saw this as an opportunity to push without stressing Richie. “So, you wanted to tempt me into fucking you?” His voice was a little throaty.

Eddie almost had him.

“No.” Eddie simply says at him, sliding his hands down the sides of his shorts. Richie fails at keeping his gaze from falling down again. “I didn’t wear these for you.”

Richie’s gaze lifts again. Two things seemed to happen simultaneously. Richie’s eyes were filled with burning fire and whatever he was going to say is drowned by the sound of Eddie’s phone ringing.

Eddie takes his phone from his pocket and sees that it’s the guy he is supposed to be hooking up with tonight. He was supposed to be there already. “I have to go.” Eddie says and looks back at Richie who has a frown on his face. Eyes still burning.

“Whoever you are going to see, they won’t fuck like I could.” Richie says huskily and it makes Eddie’s knees shake a little. He steps forward, his expressing mixed with confidence and frustration.

“You said we can’t remember.” Eddie reminds him and he just basks in the glory of knowing he had Richie right where he wanted him. He almost smirks at him, he is sure his expression is smug.

“Eddie… Eds.” Richie says almost pleading.

Eddie pushes however, he just needs to see him break a little more. “What?”

Richie inhales shakily as he steps into his space, hand snaking around his waist. “Let me..” Eddie raises an eyebrow expectantly. “Please…”

He can’t help but smirk now, “Please what?”

“Please let me fuck you.” Richie whispers, eyes pleading.

This is all Eddie was waiting for. He slams their lips together. Kissing Richie was everything and more. Eddie let himself be guided by Richie, basking in the slight edge of possessiveness Richie was holding at the moment.

Richie’s hands slide down his waist, down to his shorts. His hand grabs a fistful of his ass which rips a whine from Eddie.

“Yeah?” Richie whispers, sliding down to kiss his throat, “like that?”

Eddie nods, “Richie fuck... c’mon.” He makes his way to his desk and slides half of Richie’s belongings and papers off the desk. It was proper cliché, but it seemed like Eddie’s life was a bit of a weird cliché.

He doesn’t even waste time in pushing his shorts down. He was going commando to his dick appointment. It was all about what was the fastest way to get fuck.

That seemed to freeze Richie a little. He just stared at Eddie; his erection painfully obvious now. Which... reminded Eddie just how big he was.

“Actually, get your chair... I want to ride you.” Eddie blurted out because wow, he needed to try and ride him. That makes Richie’s eyes double in size, but it seems to break his trance.

He moves quickly and swivels the chair over. Eddie figures he could also lose his hoodie. So, by the time Richie is on that chair, he is completely naked.

There’s something really captivating by the way Richie is fully clothed and just drooling for Eddie. He smirks a little, “Never seen you this quiet.”

Richie swallows, hand reaching out to pull Eddie to his lap. “You’re so beautiful.” His lips land on Eddie’s chest, sucking on the skin softly.

Eddie doesn’t let himself get distracted as he moves his hands trying to free Richie’s cock. They part slightly as Eddie just stares at it for a moment.

“Fuck...” He whispers, taking it in his hand and giving it a couple of tugs.

Richie moans softly and he looks over at Eddie, “Did you bring lube? Condom?”

Eddie snorts a little and passes Richie the condom and lube. “I was going to fuck someone remember?”

Richie’s frown is pronounced and Eddie wonders if he has hit a nerve. He coats his fingers and motions Eddie to get up from his lap.

“Rich... I was going to get fucked.” Eddie reminds him and Richie’s nostrils flare.

“I fucking know! You’ve told me that twice! Now get the fuck up, I need to stretch you!” He snaps looking more sexually frustrated by the second.

“Richie...” Eddie says and cups his face, “I prepped myself... I just wanted a quick fuck. No foreplay.”

He almost blushes but Richie’s eyes go completely dark and suddenly Eddie doesn’t feel embarrassed. It seemed like something internally snapped and then he felt Richie’s fingers slide along his perineum. He gasps softly as Richie easily slides a finger inside of him.

“Told ya...” Eddie says a little breathless.

Richie frowns a little, “You really did stretch yourself out huh? All for a random guy?” Eddie was about to answer when Richie added a second finger and hits the right spot. “What does he look like?”

He adds a third one and Eddie is really struggling to form sentences, Richie fingering him was his second most thought out fantasy. “Um.. tall, dark hair… wears g-glasses.”

Richie smirks, “So you were going to fuck a version of me?”

Eddie starts to wonder when he started losing the power in this. Perhaps when Richie started fingering him, either way he figures it was a good tradeoff. “Richie- fuck, just…”

He wonders briefly if Richie was going to make him beg, just like he’d done a couple minutes ago. But no Richie seems just as eager and desperate as him. Eddie takes the reins again once Richie’s fingers are not inside him. He slides the condom with ease and Eddie holds onto his shoulders as he sinks down on him.

He was full. He had sex plenty of times before, but he has never been this full. Richie’s cock was really big, not in an uncomfortable way, but very much in a way where he felt like the breath had been knocked out of him.

Richie’s eyes are closed, and he is biting his lip. Eddie briefly wonders if its good for him, if it wasn’t yet he was going to make sure.

After he feels like he’s gotten used to him, he starts moving. His hips start doing the work and Richie starts moaning loudly.

His dark eyes snap open and Eddie moans, “You feel fucking great Rich.”

Richie’s hands come to cup Eddie’s face and he connects their lips in a very sloppy kiss. They kept coming apart every time they moaned.

It wasn’t going to take long for Eddie and his legs were already starting to burn from this position. Instead of admitting that however, he came up with a better idea. He remembers how hard and precise Richie’s fingering had been when he was jealous.

On one particular hard thrust on Richie he throws his head back. “And to think I was going to see someone my age for this.”

He feels Richie’s hands tighten on his waist and he hides his smirk as he watches Richie’s eyes narrow. “Forget about him.” He grits out and faster than Eddie can keep up with, he’s is on his back laying on the desk. Richie easily folds him, sliding his legs over his shoulder and starts fucking him.

Eddie could barely hold onto a coherent thought. Richie was merciless on top of him and this is all he ever wanted.

He was never a bruise kind of guy. He actually hated when his past lovers would leave hickies on him. However, the way Richie was holding onto him was an indicator of how he going to have bruises for several days. And that thought excited him.

He doesn’t think his cock needed to be stimulated; cumming untouched was definitely a possibility and it seems like Richie knew that with the way he was fucking him and purposely ignoring his cock.

“Tell me..” Richie leans in, moving Eddie’s legs around, wrapping them around his waist. Somehow that angle almost makes him finish on the spot. He is gasping and moaning and almost misses what Richie is saying. “Has anyone ever fucked you like I have?”

It is a no brainer. No one has ever fucked him like this. No one has ever known how to handle Eddie. And Richie just knew, the first time and he just knew. It was like they were destined to be doing this. Forget counseling, Richie being inside of him was his true calling, the only thing that would fulfill him now.

Richie pinches his nipple and he gasps again; he looks at him waiting for the answer. Eddie shakes his head again and again, feeling himself detach from reality. “No one…” He slurs slightly, his voice was shaky and uneven. “Just you, fuck… only you Richie.” He feels his orgasm close by, just a little more, just a couple more thrusts. “Please… Richie.” He pleads because he needed to be pushed off the edge again, he needed to let go.

“For me sweetheart, come for me.” Richie whispers and leans in, sucking at his neck.

Eddie comes instantly.

It’s a haze. Once his orgasm hit, he felt like he had been drugged with some type of psychedelic drug. Everything was heightened but everything was quiet. He ponders if this is what his patients would refer to, when they would talk animatedly about their trips. Eddie doesn’t think he could ever quit after this, this was his drug of choice for now.

It wasn’t that Eddie had never had mind blowing sex before, he had thought he had. But this was different, this was ethereal. There were no doubts in Eddie’s mind that he was completely in love with Richie.

He felt Richie’s continuing to thrust on top of him. His breathy moans against his neck as Richie reached his own orgasm. Eddie definitely felt that, and he couldn’t help but moan again.

Next time he needed Richie to cum inside him, to fill him up the way he craved. “Fuck Eddie…” Richie says, and it took a few seconds to register that he had voiced that thought out loud.

Slowly but surely the haze was moving away, everything was still heightened but not quiet anymore. He looks over at Richie and he smiles again, just like how he had a week ago.

He let the feeling of victory sweep him as Richie held onto him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it took me a bit to get into this eddie’s head. it seemed to me that allowing yourself to want an affair can be a long process of convincing yourself why you are not in wrong and why the married person needs you. so this chapter was half of that. again not perfect characters but ridiculously fun to write. the third and last chapter will come soon. 
> 
> if you leave a comment please be kind. thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiii! so sorry this took forever. quarantine got to me after awhile and then when I finally got inspiration to finish it up, everything that was going on in the world made me lose it all. so hopefully you enjoy the conclusion to this story, I might write an alternate version of this ending if inspiration strikes. again sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. also please remember Black Lives Matter and educate yourself on that matter. thank you!

It was good... until months it wasn’t.

  
  
It was good because Richie was all Eddie had ever wanted. Their affair was absolutely wonderful.

  
  
Richie would take him to this beautiful hotel in the next town, where Eddie and he would spend hours under the covers. The sex was still so phenomenal, and they couldn’t get enough.

  
  
Richie would constantly lie to his husband and Eddie didn’t even flinch. One time he rode Richie while he was on the phone with his husband, it was one of Eddie’s favorite memories.

  
  
They still bickered and fought, but whatever they had was enough to get them through.

  
  
And somehow that reflected on their work, they were both very committed and passionate on helping their patients.  


  
Then... it started turning bad.

  
  
Eddie sits down on his bed one morning and it was like the fog had lifted. He absentmindedly rubs at his collarbone where Richie left a mark.

  
  
He frowns a little because Richie had always told him how much it turned him on seeing Eddie all marked up. It’s not that it wasn’t hot having that effect on Richie... but now Eddie realized something.

  
  
He had never left a mark on Richie. Ever. Eddie recalls the time he dug his nails on Richie’s back just for him to remind Eddie to not leave a mark.

  
  
Eddie didn’t even question it at the moment, he has never questioned Richie especially not while having sex. But now...

  
  
He understands though, Richie is a married man he can’t go around sporting hickies and scratches for his husband to see.

  
  
But what if he could? What if Richie just divorced him? He could mark Richie up. He could take Richie out on a date. He could be Richie’s actual boyfriend. He could have sex with Richie in his house or Eddie’s apartment without a care.

  
  
For some reason as the months went by Eddie had never thought about that possibility. Richie was married and that was that. He never demanded more from him. He knows he was the one that said he didn’t care but like everything, that has changed.

  
  
He does care. He doesn’t want to share Richie anymore. He wants all of Richie to himself, forever.

  
  
The thought clung to him the entire week and as their last session with their clients focused on relationship, it unraveled even more.

  
  
“She is your wife, of course she is supposed to know everything about you. There is no shame in little white lies but keeping that from her will lead to losing her trust.” Richie lectured Joe, who was a client that was suffering from alcohol addiction and was keeping it from his wife.

  
  
“In relationships it is all about being open, she can help you.” Eddie backs Richie’s words.  


  
“Are you open with your husband Mr. Richie?” Joe asks genuinely curious.

  
  
Richie nods, “Of course! He knows everything about me, and I know everything about him.”

  
  
“Does that ever get complicated?” Joe continues asking, “Like is there ever something you two don’t agree on?”  


  
Richie bites his lip and shrugs, “I’m sure there has been in the past, but nothing ever changes the way I love him, and he loves me.”

  
  
Eddie stopped listening after that conversation. Either Richie was incredibly good at being a liar or… he really did feel that way.

  
  
The session ended soon enough and once their clients left and they finished writing their counseling notes, Richie squeezes his shoulder. “I’ll see you in 10 minutes.” He smiles and leaves before Eddie and Eddie waits a short amount of time before he also leaves the office.

  
  
Richie is waiting for him in the bed as he enters the room. They always book the same hotel but it’s on Eddie’s card just so it’s not traceable to Richie because again… Richie was married. He frowns again at that thought.

  
  
“Hey love,” Richie smiles at him, he was already undressed and just wearing his boxers. It was always what they would do, sex and then talk and then some more sex.

  
  
Eddie obviously wasn’t in the mood anymore. No sex until they talked, no sex until he was sure he would not share Richie. “We need to talk.”

  
  
The older man frowns, “About?”

  
  
Eddie takes a deep breath wondering how to even start this conversation. It was all in his head, but he couldn’t fathom how to start without just breaking down crying. It should not be that hard, but a little part of him is terrified he will lose Richie somehow. He lets out a shaky exhale and figures he should go straight to the point. “I want you to leave your husband.”

  
  
Richie’s face changed automatically, it was a hard frown now and his jaw tightened.

  
  
“I want you to divorce your husband.” Eddie adds after a moment of silence. He felt nervous of course. This was Richie, a man he threw away all caution for, a man who he was very much in love with. He never wanted to be the person to stress him. Eddie was supposed to be the one that de-stressed him, but he couldn’t continue this anymore.

  
  
“Eddie…” Richie starts and stops. His lips press into a hard line, like if he’s debating what his words will be.

  
  
“I can’t keep sharing you Richie.. I can’t. I can’t keep being your secret. I can’t keep meeting here in secret, lying to my friends. I can’t.” Eddie shakes his head, “If you do love me, you’ll leave him and be with me.”

  
  
“Eddie…” Richie starts again.

  
  
“I know you love me Richie, we can be so happy together!” The smaller man pleads, “Please!”

  
  
Richie inhales and tries again, “Eddie its-“

  
  
Eddie doesn’t let him finish once again, “It’s not what?”

  
  
“Fucking simple! It’s not fucking simple!” Richie snaps at him, “He… he could destroy everything I have built! The facility… the organization is mine and he could take half of it if he would like and ruin me! I love being a counselor, I love being the boss.. I can’t jeopardize that! Especially if they knew we…” He stops and closes his eyes, “Eddie when they find out we are together… I’m through. I’m over. My reputation would be gone, the organization would have a huge stain on it. Do you really think people will want to come get counseling sessions with a pair of liars?”

  
  
“Richie… I can help. I can do whatever I can to make sure that doesn’t happen!” Eddie pleads again, “You can trust me, I will not let him do that to you! We can wait till we officially date, I just want you to divorce him that’s all! I want you to be only mine. Let me help you!”

  
  
“You can’t Eddie. I’m sorry but you cannot help me. And things won’t go smoothly no matter what type of story we try to spin.” Richie already sounds defeated, like if he wished things were different. Eddie almost took pity on him, almost.

  
  
Eddie felt his heart plummet. His worst fear has become a reality. Richie had no intentions of leaving his husband. However, Richie did have every intention of Eddie being his secret lover. Deep down, he knew it was his fault. He was the one that pursued a married man! Perhaps at the time it made him feel alive, but that very path made him feel empty now.

  
  
“So, this was your fucking plan? I was just going to be someone you had on the side? Your secret lover? Until what? Did you ever think about us? About our future?!” Eddie is beyond furious now. “Did you ever have a plan for us?!”

  
  
“No.. yes! I don’t know! I didn’t think that far through Eddie! I just met someone I really fucking liked and I fell in love with them! I tried to fight it, you know I fucking did!”

  
  
“Oh! Don’t turn this around me! I didn’t make you do anything!”  


  
“I know you didn’t fuck! That’s not what I meant! I just-“ Richie lets out a scoff, “I fooled myself into thinking this would be enough but of course it fucking isn’t!”

  
  
“You don’t love me.” Eddie whispers now lowly, fighting his tears. He feels Richie touch his shoulder and he moves away from him. “If you really did love me, you wouldn’t make me go through this. And if this is your form of love, then I don’t want any part of it. Consider this my resignation. We are over. You are not my boss, don’t contact me unless you figure out your fucked-up life.”

  
  
Richie’s face looks horrified with Eddie’s statement. But it was the only thing that made sense to Eddie, he couldn’t be apart of Richie’s life anymore. He would not stand by and be his lover and watch as Richie continued the farce that was his marriage.

  
  
“Is this about Joe asked?” Richie asks voice almost muted.

  
  
“Yes… I’ve never been married so I don’t understand what bond that is. And despite what I did in the past, I won’t do it again. Goodbye Richie.” Eddie leaves just as quick as he came, he makes it back to his apartment where he just breaks down.

  
  
This time when Mike sees him and asks what’s wrong he tells him the truth, every single bit of it.

  
  
Mike is a good friend, Eddie doesn’t think he deserves that, but he stays with him even cancels his plans to comfort him for a couple of days.

  
  
“Just wish you would have trusted me Eddie.” Mike says one evening after they are done eating. “Do I think it’s right? No. But perhaps you needed to hear someone else thoughts on it and I would have given them to you and still would have been there for you.”

  
  
Eddie figures he was right, he should have told Mike. But he has another thought automatically, Mike would have been a good conscious person given in his input on how it would have been a very bad idea, and if Eddie remembers correctly that was the last thing he wanted to be reminded at the time.

  
  
He remembers how much he excused himself, how practically insanely in love he was with Richie those first couple of days. Who would have thought it only took a few months for him to a grow conscience back.

  
  
Richie doesn’t try to text him or call him, which really fucking hurts. It’s like Richie didn’t even care about him anymore. Eddie didn’t want to believe that, but the cold shoulder hurt.

  
  
Time definitely didn’t help him. He remembers hearing songs about it, how time heals all… that was not the case for him. He was not healing; he was not getting better. If anything, it seemed like each day he became a sadder person.

  
  
Could you die from a broken heart? Eddie was beginning to suspect that perhaps that silly question was true.

  
  
He knew he needed to find a job, sure he had savings, but he didn’t want to start falling behind on his share of the rent. Not that Mike didn’t offer to pay the entire thing, but Eddie just didn’t want to burden him with that.

  
  
“You sure you can’t join us? It’s a lake house with a lot of cute guys!” Mike wiggles his eyebrows, but his kind eyes were almost pleading.

  
  
“I can’t I need to start putting applications in. If I keep putting this off I’ll owe you rent money and I don’t want to get that point.” Eddie sighs and Mike opens his mouth, but he beats him to it, “I know you got me… but honestly I need to get on with it and with my life. Thank you though! Maybe next time.” He halfhearted promises.

  
  
Mike was going away from the weekend to a beautiful lake house with some of his college friends and it was tempting but Eddie was not ready to rebound. He needed to get his priorities straight and that started with finding a job.

  
  
Mike leaves Friday noon and by that time Eddie has send in a hefty number of resumes and emails to potential employers. He hated to put his previous employment because that meant they were going to contact Richie to give him a referral, but it was the least Richie could do.

  
  
After his morning jog, he continued his streak all of Saturday morning sending resumes.

  
  
Saturday night hits and he is watching some Netflix reality TV show that normally wouldn’t interest him, but he figures why not? He is actually engrossed in it when a loud knock startles him. He pauses the show and goes to the door and looks through the peephole.

  
  
Richie. It was Richie.

  
  
Shit. Fuck.

  
  
He takes a deep breath. Then another 10 deep breaths and opens the door slightly.

  
  
“What do you want?” His voice tone is curt.

  
  
Richie just stares at Eddie which gives Eddie enough time to stare back. His beard was slightly grown out, his hair was longer. He looked fucking good, but he also looked fucking tired with the eye bags.

  
  
“Well?” Eddie says when he is met with more silence. 

  
  
“I got a call.” Richie says like that explains everything. Eddie raises an eyebrow in confusion. “They said you put me down as a reference.”

  
  
Oh, right. Eddie shrugs, “Well figured you could give me a good recommendation.”

  
  
Richie nods, “Right, I did.” He pauses again and then looks everywhere but to Eddie. “So new job?”

  
  
Eddie has had enough of whatever this interaction was. “What do you want Richie? I know you didn’t just come here to ask me about a new job, so what the fuck do you want?”

  
  
He looks at Eddie then, his eyes full of anguish. “I just... miss you Eddie. I got the call today and they mentioned your name and I just…” He shakes his head, “You are always on my mind, but it just sparked something in me, and I tried to go home but I ended up driving here.”

  
  
Eddie should tell him to leave, should tell him he can’t go down that road again… but he can’t because, well, he too missed Richie. So much. And Richie looks so much in pain that Eddie just wants to hold him and make the pain go away.

  
  
He doesn’t of course, but it’s just because he fights that instinct with everything he can.

  
  
“Richie…” Eddie sighs, “I… miss you too, but-“

  
  
You know that instinct Eddie had successfully fought for this entire duration of conversation with Richie? Unfortunately, it is very hard to fight that instinct when Richie’s lips are pressed against his.

  
  
Yeah Richie started kissing mid sentence and Eddie should push him away, but he doesn’t. He kisses him back, they stumble around the apartment and somehow end up against the sofa. They could make it to his room, but they were both too desperate to keep walking.

  
  
Eddie turns around, sliding his sweats off, a thought catches up to him that moment. “Wait I don’t have-“

  
  
“I do.” Richie says in an airy voice and slides out a condom a little bottle of lube from his pocket. Eddie didn’t have time to even question it because Richie’s fingers were sliding inside of him and suddenly that was everything.

  
  
It didn’t take long before Eddie begged Richie to fuck him once he was stretched enough. And they fucked there, Eddie leaning against the sofa as Richie slammed into him.

  
  
The entire time Eddie couldn’t stop thinking how dirty it was, but it was so good. He couldn’t stop moaning loudly and whining Richie’s name over and again. He didn’t care if his neighbors heard him.

  
  
Eddie comes undone faster than he would have liked. He would have liked to stay like this, the moment before the bliss, the moment before his cloudy judgement went away. He comes hard, catching it mostly from dripping to the sofa and more on the floor instead. He feels himself tighten against Richie’s hard cock.

  
  
Richie comes a half dozen thrusts later, a loud guttural moan ripping from him as he finished instead of Eddie. For a second he wished he didn’t have a condom, so he could be full of Richie.

  
  
He slides out of him and Eddie takes a deep breath. His judgement wasn’t too cloudy anymore and he realized exactly what this meant.

  
Nothing was going to change. Richie came here prepared with lube and a condom for a fuck and he got it. This was it, their relationship was always going to spin around a circle. It made his heart break even more, Eddie didn’t even think that was possible.

  
  
Eddie died when he decided to act on his feelings for Richie. Who he thought he was, what his morals were, what his principles were… they all died when he kissed Richie that one evening.

  
  
The Eddie that was born after was a lustful one, without guilt, without shame, without remorse. The problem was that he didn’t know who he was anymore. The new Eddie has been created to center Richie around his every need. The new Eddie made Richie his religion.

  
  
He didn’t quite know how to make himself undevoted to this man. This man who he loved like he never loved anyone.

  
  
Eddie thought he was beyond repair a few weeks ago, but this was new. He realized he would always belong to Richie Tozier. His mind, his body, his fucking essence belonged to him forever.

  
  
“I should go.” Richie’s voice interrupted his thoughts and Eddie turns around. Richie had already discarded the condom and had cleaned himself up while Eddie’s shorts were still pulled down and had splashes of dried cum on his legs.

  
  
“Nothing has changed?” Eddie whispers softly, eyes filled with tears.

  
  
“No.” Richie simply said, he swallows hard looking at Eddie for a moment. He didn’t say anything else, except match Eddie’s tears before he walked out of the apartment without a single word.

  
  
Eddie pulls himself into his shower, trying very hard to scrub any traces of Richie. But to no avail unfortunately. He will always be Richie’s.

  
  
He briefly wonders when Richie will decide he needs him again, he hopes it will be soon.

  
  
Nothing will change.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so please don’t hate me! I had two endings in mind and this one is just that made sense to me!!!! eddie and richie in this story are not good people and statistically speaking married people rarely leave their spouse for their lover. and I couldn’t see myself concluding this story with a happy ending, I wanted to keep it a little realistic. like I said I might write an alternative ending to this because I am a hoe for happy endings! but for now this is it, thank you! please be kind if you leave a comment!
> 
> EDIT: i wrote a continuation of this story. made a series of this, so just click on the 'next work' to start reading, thank u :)


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